Blog

My Dearest Comrades,

It’s been a few weeks since our last correspondence, I hope this letter finds you in good spirits. I’d like you to know the offices have been bustling since our May 4th launch. Like a well oiled machine, the team is managing the influx of business quite well. Their fine work and my faith in their abilities has allowed me to vacate the Windy City for a bit. There is a bit of unfortunate business down south that needs tending to. Read More…

Loyal Followers,

Spring has finally sprung and despite the Bulls most recent failings, you can’t keep a good town down. Rolling in on the mid-level seas of Lake Michigan, I’ve made my return to Chicago. Presently within city limits, I’m both well rested and excited for VEOBA’s upcoming launch. Read More…

Comrades,

My thoughts still hazy from nights spent in Vancouver, today I write six days out from Chicago. Added to my fleet, a recently purchased 21” catamaran. Set sail from Thunder Bay, Ontario; the waters of Superior and Michigan provide ample downtime to ponder the Chicago team’s May 4th launch.

I too know the hardships the music industry has to offer. ‘Twas my late teens, years before my Grammy run in ’75. Despite time spent on the circuit, my career was plagued by empty music halls and poor record sales. While I had yet to invent the internet, the services offered by my team in Chicago would have been of great benefit to me. Read More…

Those close to my heart,

Greetings from Vancouver! I pen this whilst enduring a tragic headache my friends. The city has treated me well, but I feel I must alert you to the dangers of debauchery available in this Canadian Province. From a mumbled recollection, my night included, but was not limited to the following:

2 bottles Remy Martin, 3 out of 4 luxury hotels, 1 bottle Hennessey, a scandalous Fasian, egg fried rice, Jokers of the Scene, Sonic Burger, 2 derbalgangers, other people’s Canadian passports, a pack of Parliament Lights….and some hot pants. Lots of freakin’ hot pants.  It was a damn fine time.

Tomorrow I continue my journey home to Chicago. I miss the water, and have thus made plans to sail South on the Great Lakes. I must reach Chicago by April 28th as my team is throwing our official pre-launch party at Angels & Kings. I’d be an idiot to miss such a great time, and I suggest you attend if you can. Info for the party can be found here.

Stay vigilant, stay independent.


Richard Veoba
*via remote entry

Dear Friends and Acquaintances,

Greetings and salutations and all those ridiculous formalities.  You’ll be happy to know unusual currents made the journey to Alaska rather swift.  Under a cover of dense fog, I snuck the Dirty Pickle into Dutch Oven Harbor during the early morn.  I just don’t get here often enough. Read More…

My buddy Steve took a break from that whole child labor snafu to let me know the iPad is hitting the streets this Saturday at 9AM.
B-Jobs and I go way back. The dude is kind of a prick, but wicked smart. Good luck getting your hands on the crack, kids.

Check out my newsletter below. -DICK Read More…

My friends and/or foes,

What a whirlwind Austin was. Texas and American youth alike came with anticipations of good music and fast rides. I’m proud to say CARNIVILLE Austin did not disappoint. Beautiful weather provided a perfect setting for the festivities. Although I’ve eaten better funnel cakes, the carnies made a mean corn dog. The expletives that came from those deep fried wonders would make your mother blush.

CARNIVILLE was filled with days I’ll never forget my friends. Partly because it was well documented by our furry photographer, but mostly because we capped off Saturday night with a Cognac and tattoo run. Forever bonded together, VEOBA inked on the left buttock of each member of the Chicago team. Branded for life.

Alas, all good things must come to an end. I bid my Chicago team fare thee well and sent them back to the windy city. Much work must be completed in preparation for launch, a mere 39 days away. I however find myself heading North, as I have recently been informed production has slowed at my Alaskan salmon cannery. The popular game fish has recently suffered a major decline in numbers. Associates tell me an overzealous former Governor has taken a liking to rifle shooting the fish from a helicopter. Bad sport my dear. You might be attractive, but being a good looking Governor is like being the best looking waitress at a Denny’s. It’s not that impressive. Read More…

My friends,

Neither plane nor boat can replicate the pure joy that’s felt when rubber meets road. Hands at ten and two, the floorboards vibrate as every mile is traveled. Underneath, I feel ground continuously moving. New land is introduced, then quickly bid adieu with each revolution of the vehicle’s tires.

My drive north to the Texas border was rewarding. With canvas top down, the ’74 Caprice Classic ran like a champ. Dry wind blew steady and sun beat down both hard and relentless. With disheveled hair and a light burn on my chiseled features, I enjoyed the scenic Mexican desert.

A call placed to Chicago as I reached the border brought good news. Response to CARNIVILLE Austin event has been overwhelming. RSVPs have flooded in and turn out is expected to be beyond capacity.

Our partners at IHEARTCOMIX, JELLY, and MAD DECENT have given word that all systems are a go. Word is they have employed a traveling troupe of circus performers to help erect the various stages. Led by a heavily mustached Frenchman, they are both energetic and well organized. And while there is tension between the bearded lady and the Austin PD, JELLY says there has yet to be bloodshed. I believe it may be an issue with masculinity.

Let me reiterate what I wrote last week. CARNIVILLE Austin is taking place this Thursday through Saturday (March 18-20th). It’s a full blown carnival with live music, featuring a great number of rides and free alcohol if you should choose. Oh, and did I mention music?

And because I haven’t found time to ring up Barack and fix our troubled economy, the event is completely free. All that I ask is that you RSVP at www.austincarniville.com before my team shuts it down at midnight tonight, March 17th. I also suggest you check in at the aforementioned website for the full lineup, as well as more detailed information.

It has been far too many months since I have seen the familiar faces of my team in Chicago and I hope to meet many new friends in Austin over the next few days. Hours spent on the road in search of knowledge and intrigue can be quite rewarding, but it also weighs heavy on the heart. Thus is the life of a terribly interesting gentleman.

Stay vigilant, stay independent.

Richard Veoba

*Sent via remote entry

Comrades!

My shoulders still covered in rose pedals, today I write from Mexico City. The afternoon has been vibrant and I am both drunk and high on life. Big events in Austin by way of Chicago coming next week, promising tales of carnivorous carnivals and live music, but I digress.

It has been 14 years since I left public office in the City of palaces. It appears the people of Mexico still remember the name VEOBA. Initially, I declined the offer for a ticker-tape parade, but residents demanded. Who am I to ignore the cries of a population? A population still euphoric from my win over Lundgren in ’88. Dolph is a good guy and an even better singer, but that in no way equals a proper President. Read More…

My Friends,

It is true; the Amazon River basin has always held surprises for me. In 1965, I entertained myself with a brief affair. She was a native of the river basin who had monstrous thighs and legs for days, but her heart just wasn’t in it. Three months and two Fiats later, she left me both broke and broken-hearted. Then in ’85, I was shocked to find the internet at the base of a waterfall. It was scared and malnourished. With a steady diet of Grey Poupon and Vienna sausage I brought back its livelihood. Good as new.

But yesterday takes the cake. Read More…